Question meme

[fraternaldevotion]

Sasuke broke 18K over a week ago (so he has more comments than Kaworu now, but just barely) and I need a distraction while I study for my last exam tomorrow. IT'S BEEN A WHILE, so no one can judge me.

Question meme for Sasuke and Kaworu/Liberty! You can ask me about Kite/Valiant if you want, too.

You're free to poke me if I forget to reply, though.

Comments

[fraternaldevotion]

. . . WE'VE COVERED SOME OF THIS BY NOW. It might get long but hmm.

OKAY. So Itachi not only means everything to Sasuke at this point, but they've become so incredibly codependent of each other that his sanity is completely tied to Itachi's existence. The fact that he's alive and in Aather is enough for him to be sane and focus more on being with him than focusing on revenge or wanting to fix Aather in his own way.

However, that doesn't mean Sasuke is willing to give up completely on revenge, because all his memories revolve around it and it's his FIRST instinct when something is UNFAIR and fucks up with his life. It's a first reaction to being hurt and being wronged, so it's very difficult for him to give up on that instinct just yet. It doesn't help that, as long as they're in Aather, the powercap, his lack of abilities/skills and the power of the Personae could take Itachi away from him.

But Itachi is the reason that Sasuke is currently sane right now. The reason he can go back to tsun a bit from time to time, until the moment Sasuke is by himself or with other people, in which case he can revert to losing sanity points and make crazy expressions again. And that's because he's starting to repress his feelings and now his sanity, in a way? BUT I'D NEED TO EXPAND ON THIS AND I WANT TO FOCUS ON ITACHI, so let's just say that Sasuke would be lost without Itachi in Aather.

Sasuke is terrified of losing Itachi! He is super aware of this. He's unwilling to have a life without him. He's the kind of person that chose in canon to live in the past, meaning that he chose the memories of his family, his clan and his brother over anything else. He doesn't understand the full context of his decision after Itachi's death, but it all ties back to his desire to wipe out the ninja world in order to purify the Uchiha clan from such a disgusting culture. He's only allowing himself to have a future with Itachi because he's alive here and Sasuke is never ever letting him go. Itachi is his brother and he loves him to the point that he'd do anything for him. He chose to give up on the purpose he had on his memories for the sake of staying with his brother somewhere else.

So the codependency and possessiveness is even worse now that he had to see Itachi die in such a way. Not only that, he blames himself and they were together, so he failed completely to do anything about it. He HATES that it could happen again. That the only way to get away from it is leaving Aather but he might be stuck there for a long time, so that's why he will do something (fix it his way). He might be at a point in which he will attack anyone that ever tries to hurt Itachi, even if he knows Itachi was stronger than him and can handle it.

On other feelings hmm. Sasuke is just, devoted to him? No matter how his relationship is, Itachi is his brother and his most important person. There's clearly love there, and while he wouldn't say it that way, he is in love with Itachi. Those feelings are heavily tied to the unhealthy aspects of their relationship, though. In the sense that all those feelings are shoved together so he can't exactly set them apart. The sexual aspect of their relationship is a main example of it, and as we've talked before, the sex was more of a way for them to express and indulge on those feelings that they couldn't show any other way. It was an outlet for them. Which ties back to the Uchihas sort of lacking a sexual drive so while there was a sexual attraction, it wasn't the focus of it at all. But they've been exploring that aspect of their relationship for a bit now and there seem to be changing very slowly. There is a sexual need now, more than them using sex as an outlet for their feelings.

. . . I'm not sure if this makes any sense but I don't want to reread it. I'M SORRY IN ADVANCE. If you want me to expand more on something just tell me, and I hope I answered what you wanted to know. :B

REVERSE ME.

[fraternalorders]

I THOUGHT IT MADE SENSE.

Uhhh yeah, Itachi probably feels closer to Sasuke now than ever before which is saying something considering how close they were before. :T One of the reasons their relationship started to get so codependent was repeatedly sharing traumas, both from their memories and in Aather, so sharing a trauma of this size was bound to kind of make that even worse. And it has. Though I think the attitude about the persona and such that Itachi has gotten from Bonten and Knife recently cause him to feel kind of too frustrated to hang around Emerald much, which also contributes to him spending more time with Sasuke because Sasuke understands why Itachi is upset. Since. He was...there...

Though right now he can't hang out with Sasuke and sleep at Onyx so idk what he'll do. Possibly spend day 128 planting seeds for Lloyd's quest. And then he might go to the library and read for a few hours. No, he won't sleep.

Anyway, that was a tangent. His feelings for Sasuke are largely the same as Sasuke's for him. Including the guilt and feelings of failure about what happened in Ryner's heart. Itachi has made some effort to let go of his guilt because he told Sasuke he would but it's HARD, and he still blames himself. And he is very defensive of Sasuke right now, particularly when they criticize what Sasuke did after Ryner's heart. It's not so much that he thinks Sasuke should have killed Dream or that he wanted him to do it. He didn't. He was incredibly worried about him when that was going on and he was glad Lloyd stopped him. BUT considering what had just happened, and what Sasuke's life has been, the way Sasuke reacted is pretty understandable. And he pretty much anyone who feels rage directed at the personae have a right to feel that way. He finds what he perceives to be a lack of understanding for Sasuke and other people who might be in that situation kind of frustrating because those same people seem to excuse the personae on the basis of not having a choice. So he's getting to the point that when it comes up and someone says Sasuke "can't be allowed" to do that he gets really irritated because it seems like focusing on the wrong problem. And also he blames himself for Sasuke having those kinds of triggers in the first place.

Itachi will always love Sasuke as his little brother first, even though their feelings have gotten more complicated and unhealthy, in the end it's all based on the fact that Sasuke is the brother he loves more than anything and who he wants to protect. In Aather he actually does see Sasuke as an equal and as such the desire to protect has kind of evolved into wanting to support him, too, though he is still intensely protective.

He is probably still a bit fail at expressing how important Sasuke is to him, I think, but like you said the sexual aspect kind of gives him a way to do it. Which is incredibly unhealthy, but he has so many feelings surrounding Sasuke he really doesn't know what else to do with them. In most of his memories he's repressing and ignoring his feelings so he has no context for how to properly deal with and express emotions. He is better at being honest in Aather and actually does make an effort to communicate his feelings sometimes, but he's really not so good at it, and with Sasuke in particular it's difficult to express them in a healthy way because their relationship got so fucked up by...everything Itachi did. And the trauma just kind of made all those feelings more intense.

So basically Sasuke is the person Itachi loves most and trusts most and he would do anything for him. And it might be easier to trigger Itachi's yan for Sasuke now, though I don't think he'd get as impulsive with it as he might have in the hours directly after the heart game. Mostly he will just be over protective (more so than before, if that's possible) and defensive of him.

I HAVE NO IDEA OF THIS MADE ANY SENSE. I am scattered tonight and I went on a couple of tangents, but w/e hopefully it is coherent in some way :T

Is Sasuke taking the truama of Ryner's heart game better or worse than expected? Or is it pretty much what you figured would happen?