fraternaldevotion | Question meme

DO YOU LOVE ME?

/BANS THIS COMMENT

Sasukeeeeeeeeeeee.

okok I will ask something more specific >:

Is there anything Sasuke would like to do with Itachi that they don't do already? Or something that he'd like to do more often?

WELL, I LOVE YOU!!!! SHOULDN'T THAT BE OBVIOUS BY NOW!!!!

. . . Probably play chess or do something like that. Sasuke is pretty much okay with what they do together and isn't the type to want to do fun things so just. training/sparring/spending time together is more than enough for him.

REVERSE.

BREAKING TIME TOGETHER WAS PRETTY AWESOME WE COULD DO THAT SOME MORE. I mean.

But more seriously. Chess would be cool with him. He's been meaning to ask Sasuke for a quest for a chess set, but things keep coming up. I could probably bring it up in one of our on going threads, though. :B He wouldn't mind trying other strategy type games with him, but starting with chess makes sense. :>

How is Sasuke feeling about Emerald right now? Any changes?

BREAKING TIME WAS THE BEST EVER.

He could suggest it, it would be niceeeee.

WELL. He will never truly trust them, but he is willing to remain more neutral around them if only because that'd help Itachi. A good thing about the memories he's received lately is that he's better at repressing feelings so he can pretend better. KK is a different story, though, he does try to be more >( at her because he trusted her, etc etc. You already know all that. ALSO HE WAS SO UNIMPRESSED ABOUT ASUKA, so he might just ignore her existence completely.

So how does Itachi approve someone for being Sasuke's friend?

Mostly he just needs to talk to them a little and get a feel for them. That's what he did with Mithos waaaaaay back when Sasuke told him he and Mithos had started patrolling together. He did the same with Vincent, actually, even if Vincent was never really a "friend", but w/e. Mithos made a good impression, obvs. Vincent, not so much.

It also helps when Sasuke tells him a little about the person in question himself. I think, especially since they've started making efforts to communicate with each other.

So what was it that Sasuke enjoyed most about the oregon trail game?

TELL ME ABOUT KAWORU'S LOVE LIFE.

KAWORU'S LOVE LIFE CAN BE SUMMED UP LIKE THIS:

He's dating both Kanji and Ruka. He loves both of them. He is starting to realize that wanting to explore new and interesting feeling things with other people might make him lose them both so he can't do that anymore. '-' HE IS . . . MORE COOL WITH IT THAN HE WAS BEFORE. Another curious thing is that he is slowly moving on from the fact he felt something for Shinji (and Cubia to an extend), but he will never stop considering them important. Mukuro will keep getting cheek kisses because BFF.

TELL ME ABOUT MUKURO'S OR SOMETHING. I've completely missed anything he's been doing.

HE KIND OF BROKE UP WITH DAWN IN HIS MIND AND THEN TOLD DERA HE'D BEEN HAVING SEX WITH NII SO THERE WAS. PROBLEMS. BUT THOSE GOT SOLVED APPARENTLY ... maybe... ish... still sort of u n s u r e about his relations but whatever he got another chance from Dera and I don't think Dawn even realized Acedia thought they weren't together (in his head.) so. yeah. IT'S GENERALLY THE SAME AS NORMAL. Flunking at relations, somehow still has two boyfriends who the fuck even knows how this works.

TELL ME ABOUT SASUKE'S LOVE L-- any memories you are looking forward to Sasuke getting?

...S-so many comments.

. . . Yes. DON'T JUDGE ME. '-'

Should I tag Neji in the mingle post?

The answer to "should I tag" is pretty much always yes. :x

I SHOULD ASK AN ACTUAL QUESTION I GUESS. Tell me about Sasuke's opinions of teams. I've seen you mention him not liking them.

I WILL BE SLOW FOREVER, but okay. :x

His general opinion on teams is that ALL OF THEM are arbitrary, and not something that should define you. IT'S HILARIOUS BECAUSE HE DISLIKES MOST OF THE TEAMS. I'll try to give his opinions on all of them.

Coral: . . . He sort of doesn't dislike them. His opinion is neutral because Ginshu left a very strong impression on him even if they haven't talked in forever.
Ruby: A team full of stupid idiots except for Yukio.
Citrine: SORT OF DISLIKES THIS TEAM BECAUSE OF SOMETHING LLOYD TOLD HIM. Doesn't dislike Riku.
Carnelian: Dislikes them on principle.
Tiger's Eye: No opinion. He is neutral toward Raven and Ferris.
Peridot: DISLIKES THEM BECAUSE LUCIFER IS THERE.
Emerald: :'D
Turquoise: Thinks they're incompetent idiots that can't keep their newest teammates from getting hurt.
Sapphire: Neutral!
Iolite: Doesn't dislike them, but Vincent is part of it.
Amethyst: Full of stupid idiots that will do things that could put other people in danger (because of that cry wolf game and what Syaoran did).
Kunzite: NO OPINION.

Neji's opinions on teams?

Kinda to speak to Sasuke's veiw, Neji doesn't really think of teams as families (he's not pretty... specific feelings about families, CLANS OKAY), and teams aren't like that at all. For him, they're more of an alliance or a professional arrangement. He had a pretty good basis for processing that early on and progressive memories have reinforced for him that it's the best way to look at them. Teams are sort of like ninja teams, particularly if you have villages working together. You work together for a common goal. You might like or respect the individuals on it. But... that's about it.

Most of his impressions of teams individually come down to goals or organization. He realizes that some teams (like Tiger's Eye) have a much more tightly knit view of themselves, and he kind of likes seeing that or visiting, but no desire to join it.

Coral: No strong impression of them as a team.
Ruby: ...Liable to fuck off. This comes from Mukuro during Cry Wolf.
Citrine: Gosh, some of these guys hold grudges.
Carnelian: ...lol
Tiger's Eye: He likes most of the people, but gosh, after that last game, he's not sure he can deal with ridiculousness like that.
Peridot: They don't seem to be functioning well from what he's heard through Cass. That's also based on his opinions on functioning well, but still... He heard about Lucifer killing himself to manipulate the team into doing what he wanted in Odile's game, and Neji's response was kind of like "...lol he's lucky he's on Peridot. Iolite might just decide to be a six person team if that happened."
Emerald: Team a little too quick to kill themselves.
Turquoise: Neji likes Echo and Sakura, and Breeze actually didn't make a bad impression, but gosh, they need... leadership... or something. What.
Sapphire: No real impression.
Iolite: ...COMFORTABLE.
Amethyst: Really only knows Ryner. Not generally impressed as a team.
Kunzite: Obsidian likes them? idk.

I apparently fail at socialization.

Hopes for Zuko's placement?

TIGER'S EYE!!!!! I haven't requested to be there, though. BUT I. I MISS MY TEAM SO MUCH.

Outside that . . . I'm not sure. I have no idea if he'd work on another team. Maybe Kunzite but that'd never happen because. you know.

Same for the character you mentioned to me before? |D

Tiger's Eye is a cute team.

And well, I've thought about it for Naha... quite a lot. Because he's sort of going to be a handful. I'd like him on a family-like or teamy team both because he could become hilariously over protective if he likes them. But it would have to be a team that can deal with the fact he's 1) not always sane, 2) never reliable (see 1), and 3) liable to pick the most irrational answer to any problem, and 4) brings almost no structure of his own. A team identity, if he likes the team, could ground him a lot.

Strong willed people would be good.

So... Peridot six months ago would be good, but not so much now, I don't think. Either of the pink teams could probably deal with him. From what Itachi has said, Emerald could too.

Iolite could too, for kind of the opposite reason. We'd just let him be crazy and independent and not pry. But yeah, that wouldn't work for obvious reasons. XD

So what's with all these quests? How are those going? XD

head's up Obsidian's going to be bumming around Kunzite again sometime soon

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE DRAGON LIBERTY

THREAD WITH ME ALWAYS.

LIBERTY LIKES THE DRAGON A LOT AND FINDS HIM SO INTERESTING. He'd play the piano while the dragon sings any time. He wants to learn more about his life and dragons in general, so he might ask more about that next time they talk. But Kaworu might get a bit :B if Ruka is around and doesn't pay attention to Kaworu. KAWORU HAS A STRANGE WAY TO GET JEALOUS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE ANGEL, OBSIDIAN?

OBSIDIAN LIKES LIBERTY A FAIR AMOUNT. There have been a few times where with most people he would have swung over into dislike, like with the button thing or just general Ruka jealousy, but Liberty hs a way of catching his attention or at least distracting him with fussing at Ruka (which also gets him some bonus points, because he is firmly associated with Ruka now and kyaa kyaa Ruka). And he has a similar enough sense of logic and rationality to Temeraire's dragon logic. HE LIKES HOW LIBERTY THINKS.

Still hasn't figured out that Liberty is the guy Ruka is dating yet.

What would he think once he finds out?

GRUDGING APPROVAL, because Liberty is a decent person and a good teammate to Ruka, and certainly a better option from Obsidian's view than some stranger. Liberty can be relied on to support Ruka like a good mate should.

With some politely quiet side-eying of Bones because okay why aren't you all in a threesome now, that seems like the natural solution to me.

Up ...date?

Also heads up all my squishytiems friends are teaching me that hugging it out is a totally good communication method; there are likely more attempted hugs in your future.

hugging it out is a totally good communication method

AATHER IS LIKE A PLAGUE FOR THIS

it is the squishiest plague.

. . . WHY IS THIS A THING. It's enough that Hermana tends to do that when they talk. '-'

There's not much to update because his feelings are more or less the same. The only difference is that Sasuke is at a better place than he was when she first arrived so he might be less of a jerk than he was at first! More collect on the outside, even if he's still sort of FULL OF EMOTIONS ALL THE TIME but again, he's better at coping and looking functional. His feelings for Sakura are sort of . . . weird, because he doesn't want to touch them and still tries to separate Sakura from Tsunami because that way he can keep avoiding the inevitable (the fact he most likely went insane and who knows what he did). Sakura is a constant reminder that he probably did bad things and that he nearly killed Naruto, so!

. . . I'm not sure how coherent that was. But in general, Sakura is important to him but he pushed the STOP button on his feelings where she is concerned (it helped that he got the years he lived with Orochimaru back, because it gave him more ways at coping with his feelings) and he stopped trying to push her away because . . . well, whatever.

Reverse if there's anything you haven't talked about in your memory writeup or something? ALSO TELL ME IF WE SHOULD THREAD.

BECAUSE APPARENTLY HUGS FEEL KIND OF NICE

'-' pardon me for being a constant reminder of your bad decisions gosh. Gosh.

But...mmn I'm not sure there's much else that I didn't hit somewhere in my slurry of words on my memory write up, besides just like-- as much as Sakura definitely is up for a hands-on helping Sasuke approach (as in, continuing to talk to him like he is AN FRIEND and such) she is also good with backing off and doing hands-off more. Or like... collecting information that might minutely improve Sasuke's life. Talking to him about Viola to make sure he has people who like... like him and stuff, or okay Sasuke doesn't want to talk about his brother we wont ever do that and making sure Stealth is happy because that will probably make Sasuke happy etc. I'm not sure what would happen if like, say, Sasuke made it clear that he'd prefer she stay away from him because it would make him happier -- she might like explode from contradictory impulses.

Also the answer to that question is always yes. I tagged you in the end game also but we could move elsewhere no that Sakura's feelings hangover has shifted from ALL THE HAPPY to ALL THE SAD idk.

Do you have any ooc plans for how sasuke and Itachi will deal with the eventual regaining of Ninja Consumption?

WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF YOU BEING ABLE TO USE YOUR SMIRK ICONS AGAIN NOW, SASUKE?

IT MEANS THAT HE IS A BIT MORE STABLE THAN HE WAS BEFORE. RECOVERING FROM TRAUMA MEMORIES ONLY TO GET WORSE LATER, but we won't focus on that for now. He's trying to find new outlets for all his emotions and that takes time. Also he can only do that with very specific people so that's also a sign that he is . . . accepting them more, to a degree?

UPDATE ON SASUKE AND LLOYD.

Like I was saying last night, Sasuke has shifted himself more into the "Lloyd would go to him to talk stuff out and feel better" category, because he tried to reach out to Lloyd when he was upset and did succeed in making him feel better! Before he was more in a category of "watches out for" but he's put himself in a bit more of a reciprocal spot.

you are going to get worse later huh '^'

RELATIONSHIP UPDAAATE

THAT REVELATION FROM MITHOS PINGED HIM A LOT BUT HE . . . HAS NO IDEA OF HOW TO TAKE IT. Mithos is one of his most important people in Aather and one of the very few he would go to if he needed to talk about memories because it's more likely the one that would UNDERSTAND. I dunno what else to say aside from the fact he considers him a friend and he's never tried to push him away and he trusts Mithos (and Lloyd) to stop him if he ever goes insane in Aather. POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPPPPP.

REVERSE??

MITHOS WORRIES ABOUT THE UCHIHAS AND HE SEES THEM AS GOOD FRIENDS and mutually people to go to and talk about really badtouchy memories. I think what it is is that a) both groups have issues that can be framed in terms of the other group's issues and b) both groups are actually pretty good at 'sit, listen, offer decent advice without coming off as too judging' and making each other feel better that way. HEALTHY!

He trusts Itachi in more of a mentor/big brother way and sees Sasuke on more of an even footing! They just have more shared experience to go off of even without memories, I guess -- fighting together was a great start to the relationship because it did establish that trust! For the other person to watch your back! And Sasuke also has the insider's view on knighthood and all the complex crap that comes up from being knights. Also Sasuke triggered the heartgame effect of +100 TOUCHYDERE and then never did anything to discourage it on that front either 8Da

In general, Sasuke is party if Sasuke ever wants to be, and they're pretty inextricably friends at this point! There's a similar thing to Lloyd's too where in talks about complicated/memory stuff he's used to having to do the reaching-out, so if that dynamic starts to reverse a little Mithos will be pleasantly surprised.

also attempting to kiss for points and then mutually making faces: always hilarious

WOULD YOU EVER WILLINGLY OFFER ME A HUG, UCHIHA SASUKE!

Okay, I will try not to ask relationship, because I couldn't answer it . . . So, what does Sasuke think Vincent is up to?

He thinks Vincent is doing something for his brother's sake that could potentially get Vincent hurt/killed/something! He has no idea of what he's planning to do, exactly.

What does Vincent think of that thread?

Haha, Vincent had to give Sasuke something for catching that small slip of the tongue. He isn't sure that Sasuke will keep to his word, but he is also unaware of what he's told Itachi . . . So, it seems rather legit to him. He does place a measure of faith in Sasuke, but he's also uncertain of whether they have reached the end of their involvement with one another. At the least, Vincent will be keeping tabs on him in as much as he can. It might be time to ply the information network . . .

How is Sasuke doing?

UPDATE 8U?

NOTHING HAS REALLY CHANGED, outside the fact that Kaworu is more concerned/interested in him! He views him as the only one from the team most likely to get hurt for making bad decisions, and it's mostly true so far. |D Also it's harder to tease him or get reactions out of him, but he likes him a lot anyway.

REVERSE?

YOU SHOULD TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS '-'

THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BABBLE ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense, though. '-'

Basically, Drift took a place very close to Cubia in Kite's heart! It's hard to define Kite's way of viewing friendship because it's such an intense and devoted thing in the first place that Kite basically puts his friends above anything else. He lacks a distinction between friends and like say, romantic interests! There's simply no line that keeps both things apart, if that makes sense! Another thing is that we know nothing about Kite's family and he never ever thinks about them or mentions them in canon, but I assume that he never had brothers and that his parents probably both worked and didn't devote much time to him, but he was generally a happy kid with a normal-ish family so it makes sense that, as an only child, he'd consider friends so damn important.

WITH ALL THAT IN MIND. Kite has strong relationships in canon: the best friend he spends all his time trying to save from being trapped in a coma forever, the girl that helps him in his journal that practically saves his life and is also one of his best friends (who also seems to crush on him but he's oblivious about it), the friend that was actually hostile toward him at first but did everything to help and . . . Cubia. There's other people, too, but those are the most important ones. Now, it's important that Cubia ended up playing a huge role in Kite's life. He learned about Cubia and accepted him no matter what he was. He forgive Cubia for hurting him. Kite's happiness was restores mostly because of Cubia helping even after he dies, and that promise at the end of canon was what meant the most to him. In Aather, Cubia became one of Kite's most important people on his own even before he remembered him! Kite actually kissed him once during the phase of "what if kissing the people you like makes kissing less gross" but Cubia couldn't feel anything and he was very conflicted so that was sort of weird and Kite's mind stopped going there because '-' Cubia couldn't feel it, so even if I liked it that's not what he'd want. Later on, Kite's entire motivations revolved about giving Cubia a human body or find a way to drag him back home with him because Cubia deserved to be happy. Kite's desire is to make Cubia happy, and when Cubia good ended Kite was so sad but . . . happy at the same time, because he was going home and they'd see each other again. He made a new promise and everything.

NOW. The other people that meant the world to Kite are Riku and Mint! They stayed in the Friends I Like Kissing category of his mind so he was like "that probably means I like them that way" but since he's so aromantic in general he doesn't really get dating or romance or even sexual needs. Kite isn't sexual in the sense he thinks about sex or wants it, but it isn't impossible for him. His interest in Mint became more platonic even before she was booked but her importance never vanished and he devoted himself to work harder in the games and in restoring Aather because after talking to Personae he had to accept there was nothing he could do until they had restored more of the world in order to get them (because Riku was also booked) out of the book. Buuuut his interest in Riku didn't change mostly because he was stuck on the idea that Riku actually didn't like him in the way Kite seemed to like him! Which wasn't the case but you know, Riku. Actually, the one that didn't like him that way was Mint, hilariously, but Kite never knew because she also shifted in Kite's categories. BUT EVEN THEN, there isn't a line so basically it's so damn easy to "move" between categories that it could go either way. Riku and Mint will probably remain the people Kite could potentially date if either of them wanted it, but the bottom line is that he loves them so much that it wouldn't change how much they already meant to him. They already mean a lot, but in terms of importance, Cubia was always his Top Priority.

And now I can move on to Drift. '-' I needed to explain all that because while I'm sure I've explained some of this before, it's also necessary to understand how important Drift currently is to Kite. Drift sort of cheated, though, because since the moment Kite started to see that he had a lot of similarities with Cubia? Kite started to concern a lot with him. He wanted to help really badly, and it was such a slow process as Drift actually took the first steps in making Kite care. Dying was such a traumatic experience to him, and so was experiencing pain, so Drift being there and offering support meant so much to Kite that he never forgot about it. It was until they started to talk about Cubia and had those arguments that he became aware of how much he was concerning himself with Drift. He also offered him a place to stay because he also knew how hard it was for Riku to deal with his team when he ended up ragequiting them, so in a sense Drift pinged two of Kite's most important relationships. But more important than that, Drift became important on his own and Kite never thought Drift was a bad person, at all.

SO HE WANTED TO HELP HIM OUT and somewhere down the line Kite truly wanted to make Drift happy. Kite didn't really realize that though, he wanted to help him and he knew that, yeah! He talked to Percy and he was starting to think of ways to help Drift but then Drift had one of those arguments with him in which Kite was sort of lost on what to do '-' So he settled on giving him a place to stay, he tried to make him feel comfortable in Tiger's Eye and was just . . . happy spending time with him. If he couldn't actually fix whatever was making Drift so unhappy without pushing too much (because that's another thing with Kite, he doesn't push or tries to force the truth out of anyone, if you don't want to share something he'll accept that), the least he could do was offer him all that.

Then he had to good end and leave Three's realm. Kite always knew he had to go back home due to his promise to Cubia, and that's what he wanted as well, but he didn't want to leave yet until he had the means to travel between worlds so he could visit his friends. He also didn't want to leave until he could do more in order to help those trapped in the book / were taken by the darkness. He had to help them! So he asked Beauty and got a deal to keep fighting somewhere else and he was going to be with Lark. '-' THAT WAS GREAT AND SO COOL. But he knew it would probably make Drift and Riku unhappy, so he got candles and each of them received one.

But in that thread with Drift Kite had to . . . face, in a way, how much he meant to Drift and then he became truly aware that he truly cared and loved Drift and that he wanted to make him happy too. With Riku, Kite had a similar feeling but he was also feelings he was nothing he could do to help him and he mostly so unhappy about it because feelings powerless sucks so much. He didn't feel like he had anything to do or offer him anymore, so Kite didn't really think that much about them as "boyfriends" if that makes sense. THEY REALLY DIDN'T TALK MUCH FOR A WHILE and when they did it was awkward or had arguments, so '-' Kite still loves him and is one of his best friends, but how Kite will react to Riku not feeling that way for him depends a lot on how Riku acts around him. If Riku is just generally more happy and doesn't address anything else Kite will be happy for him and decide that Riku moved on. Which was probably what he wanted, and Kite won't be unhappy. Again, because of how things were before he left. BUT IF THINGS GO DIFFERENTLY, he would be sad.

The difference with Drift was that Drift acted different during their goodbye thread in the sense he showed how much he wanted him to stay, and as I said, it also made Kite aware of his feelings and that he wanted to make him happy. Kite never offered Riku to come with him, mostly because he knew that Riku had friends he wanted to go back to (even if Riku was afraid of Kite knowing about Sora, the truth is that Kite sort of had a clue that Riku had important friends already). So that was something huge for Kite, that he offered due to realizing that part of wanting to make him happy. Also the kiss on the cheek was something he did because of that realization. HOW DO I SHOW DRIFT I LOVE HIM WITHOUT FREAKING HIM OUT?! OH, YES, I'LL KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK. And he was embarrassed about it because it's like 'how does I do physical contact that isn't hugging or holding hands?!' But then Drift kissed him on the lips! Which basically . . . shifted Drift's place in Kite's heart a lot more and suddenly he was very aware that maybe he liked him oops. Since that is tied so strongly to his need to help and make people happy. Kite doesn't think Drift sees it the same way, though, and he was content with knowing that Drift considered him important enough to want to do that with him. It made him truly happy.

THIS BASICALLY MEANS THAT KITE ENDED UP LEAVING WITH STRONG FEELINGS FOR DRIFT, but in the end Kite is still very aromantic and more platonic than anything. So even if he likes him like he likes Riku (and liked Mint and Cubia), making Drift happy will always come first.

. . . I WANT YOU TO REVERSE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS TO SHARE. '-' I apologize again for this being so long. :B

cool kids reply fifty weeks late to wordssss (♥♥♥)

UH. gosh. DRIFT FEELS LIKE HE'S ALWAYS BEEN KIND OF ROOTLESS IN AATHER? Which might not necessarily be true but ICly he's demonstrated a consistent trend of feeling very out of place, like he was scrambling for somewhere to settle himself and build himself. But he would feel different, or he wouldn't know how to trust people, or he wouldn't understand team, etc etc so he sort of ended up distancing himself from people, because if he couldn't get close to them he didn't want to try. Originally, he didn't mind this other than the fact it made things inconvenient for him (in varying senses of the word); he didn't have a fear of being alone, and he the most he was really frustrated with was that people kept telling him TEAMS ARE GREAT and he didn't. really feel any sense of support or welcome from Citrine? And he didn't know how to accept having positive feelings for people so he was in a really weird place.

THEN HE GOT MEMORIES OF MITSUKI and Mitsuki is basically like. His best and only friend in canon. Even if the White Rabbit was distant and upset and unkind, Mitsuki would continue to reach out to him and fuss over him and everything for no reason other than the fact that they were friends! And Drift was like. gosh .///////////////////. HE THEN UNDERSTOOD WHAT PEOPLE WERE GETTING AT! Friends were great! They made you feel better and they were nice and caring and! They were the nicest things ever :(! And the more he felt insecure or the more upset he felt, the more he began to idealize friendship and his friends! Because Drift, like the White Rabbit, so desperately needs something to believe in or he'll fall apart. He doesn't know how to believe in himself -- it's something that only recently Zero has tried to get him to think about. So friendship is something both good and bad for him at the same time; he uses it as a crutch but he also uses it to ... improve himself? They're his incentive to explore himself, for the most part, when he doesn't believe he has himself to look after. It's let him learn how to deal with others and not give up, because if there's one thing Drift can't do it's give up on a friendship, ever.

(It would be safe to say friendship is his ~everything~, because, without it, he would def be a mess. He doesn't have the pure drive to save Alice like the White Rabbit does to keep him going -- albeit at a self-destructive rate -- and as long as he has his friends he's able to preserve the better parts of him, though they often bring out the worst parts of him, ironic as that is. It's really his only mental support, and, like, if he ever thought he were in serious danger of losing them forever -- which would mean he wouldn't be able to trust them anymore, in a sense -- that would be. really bad for him. idek how it would end up but it would.)

#driftsthoughtsonyaoi OKAY so with all that said, there is legitimately nothing Drift wouldn't do (or feel, which I'll get to) for a friend. FRIENDSHIP IS THE TOP. It encompasses all the feelingssss so. Drift didn't really have a line for "friendship level of affection" and everything else. HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND LOVE OR ROMANCE THOUGH. He just had "I like my friends a lot!" and that was really the best he thought he was capable of. He has unequal expectations of a friendship: he feels like he has to give more than anyone has to give him, in part because he feels he is "less than" and unworthy, and in part because he is legitimately happy with whatever he gets from his friends. GOSH MY FRIENDS ARE SO GOOD TO ME ,_, Friendship makes him so happy inside! And he wants to prove he Can Be A Good Friend, whereas everyone else has already done that, in his eyes. And because he doesn't expect much of anything from them, he doesn't... expect their feelings to be the same, either. There is a part of him that is afraid that people don't value his friendship as much as he values theirs, and while that upsets him he doesn't want to lose anything by trying to be more friendly/whatever than they seem to want. (So, I guess, he treats friendships like abusive relationships half the time.) BY THIS LOGIC he was already not capable of romance, though! No one would love him because holy balls romance?? FRIENDSHIP IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS and even then he's limited, and it became even moreso when he realized he was probably fictional (because how can a fictional person try to love someone real with fake feelings of such an important thing, and how could anyone real love a fictional thing?). So even if he wasn't actively conscious of romantic love for a large part of his experience with people, he it was impossible for him to actually crush on someone because he had that mental block and the belief he was satisfied with the way things were.

With Riful, Drift was entirely aware that, when their relationship concerned love, he was lying to her and using her to make himself feel better, and that was okay because Riful was doing the same thing, to a certain extent. Her love wasn't really what he expected love to be, so he didn't feel it to be ... sincere, I guess? He didn't doubt her feelings but at the same time her world view was so far removed he couldn't take her feelings to heart. And, like, he hardly knew Riful! They were friends but they had had maybe four conversations total. It doesn't mean a lot to say "love" when you don't know a person, for Drift. The status quo remained.

BUT THEN KITE RUINED EVERYTHING. Drift sincerely cared for Kite and was super invested in him and he was comfortable with him and Kite was Kite and :(! He had been plenty terrible to Kite and Kite pretty much knew he was fake and they were already friends which meant they were pretty much as far as they could go, but Kite still said those things! It was honestly the last thing Drift expected any of his close friends -- never mind Kite -- to say to him! He didn't expect love! "Love" just frustrated him at the time because everyone seemed to, to him, be rubbing in the fact that the love Riful had for him was fake, and he knew that already because fake people can only have fake things. But Kite like. Kite ._. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR HIM TO SAY THAT? Other than lies, obvs. He wanted to believe him but at the same time he couldn't believe that, because it's just. not possible for someone to care about him that much! And Kite was really kind, so it wasn't as though it was an entirely bad thing he would lie to him to make him feel better.

Drift's questions -- like why/when/how -- were spoken in truth but mostly just stalling for him to sort things out. The more he thought about it the more he felt it was wrong for him, because there were so many better, real people to love! But. but being loved ,_________, It's probably redundant to say that being loved meant so much to him, especially because Kite insisted he wasn't lying (and Drift, for the most part, really does want to believe in the honesty of his friends, or what else would he believe in?) and still cared about him despite obviously being able to just not tell Drift and stop loving him like a sensible person would obviously do. Did love make someone real?? Could fake people be loved?? It kind of messed with his worldview, but because Kite was sort of on a time limit Drift didn't (and hasn't) really try to figure it out :X He's more concerned with Kite. HE WANTS... to be able to love Kite, but he doesn't know if he can, and even if he can, if he would be any good. HE FEELS LIKE HE'S BEEN GIVEN A REALLY IMPORTANT CHANCE and he's so afraid of messing it up and hurting Kite even more. The biggest reason why he said he'd try, though, is because ... he really wants to, for both himself and Kite, because it's not as if he wants to continue being miserable, as he is; he just tends to think it's inevitable. And if he's trying he might as well try to change himself for the better, so Kite isn't wasting his feelings on some loser (or more of a loser than he already is) ;;;

BUT SO LIKE. That obviously created that new category that's like -- not beyond friendship, but right next to it. HE STILL ISN'T SURE WHAT TO THINK b-but it's there and. and yes ,_, He isn't likely to make a solid movement either way toward liking/not liking can i love/i can't love until he can sort things out with himself, but this def acts as a strong positive force pushing him toward figuring it out, possibly in a positive light. I MEAN EITHER WAY HE HAS SO MUCH DERE FOR KITE NOW it's kinda ridic. I think it is possible for him to like Kite back; he himself just wants to be entirely certain icly before he gives him a reply because he doesn't want to hurt him and wants to prove he was worth it, even if it doesn't work out ;; lauve kite

IF YOU CAN FORGIVE ME FOR HOW RAMBLY AND BELATED THIS IS YOU SHOULD UPDATE ME ON KITE'S FEELINGS :B.......

HEY THAT'S TOTALLY FINE. I liked your words. |D

Mostly . . . Kite's feelings are pretty much the same except that now he's fairly aware that he can and likes Drift that way, too. He feels a bit embarrassed about it because, really!! He's still very inexperienced and he doesn't know much about it himself, but . . . he also wants to help Drift. Which is the main reason he told him, and tried to prove that someone could love him. BECAUSE IT'S SILLY TO THINK NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU. And Kite, likes him a lot, he was being sincere with his feelings and he might need a bit of time to actually sort them out completely, but Kite isn't even expecting Drift to like him back that way and just having him as a friend is more than enough to him.

HE JUST WANT TO HELP DRIFT. He thinks that if he thinks about feelings and love and gives it a chance it might help him figure out how he feels about other people and eventually maybe like someone for real? Kite does like him and it's definitely becoming romantic even if he doesn't know what to do with it yet, but he's also sort of selfless in the sense he doesn't expect Drift's affection outside his friendship and support and that's totally fine. '^' LOVE FOR DRIFT. I'm hesitant to use LOVE because while Kite does love him a lot, it isn't a strong romantic feeling yet because Kite is still developing those feelings for him.

So basically . . . Kite sees Drift as a very special friend that he's sort of dating? ON A TRIAL-DATING PERIOD? ON A LOVE IS GOOD FOR YOU TRIAL? IDK. But he wants to be there for Drift and might try to check on him sometimes with the candles. :(b

I hope that made sense . . .

IT ALWAYS MAKES SENSE ♥ ilu and your words

Goshhh. I MOSTLY USED "LOVE" because that's how Drift distinguishes the difference in categories, otherwise he'll reason it back to "JUST REALLY STRONG FRIEND FEELINGS" which would be counterproductive. Words, though, really throw him off; he doesn't get things until he feels them (like with friendship; people told him about it but he didn't get it until he remembered Mitsuki).

also sob trial dating :'D ngl I wish he knew what kisses candy were, because he's the type to send those in the mail/whatever all like "I HEARD THESE WERE CALLED KISSES" and say absolutely nothing else. These are legit ways of dealing with feelings!!

Also Drift will totally always answer the candles. He's just usually hesitant to actually initiate a conversation with a candles because he's afraid he'll linger so long it'll get used up and he would be sad forever :X Tho if Kite calls enough he might become more comfortable with doing it himself, because he worries about him :( (AND LARK TOO but obvs Kite for different reasons.)

THEN IT WILL HAPPEN. :(b Also that would've been kind of really cute . . .

OTHER CUTE VENUES WILL BE FOUND when the thread with Beauty finishes, I swear it.

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