fraternaldevotion | Question meme

. . . I'm tired and full of mistakes tonight. But that's been me all week. I SHOULDN'T BE DOING A QUESTION MEME WHEN I'M MAKING SO MANY MISTAKES. /o\

KAWORU WOULD RUN GAMES WHERE HE'D MAKE EVERYONE THINK EVERYTHING WOULD BE TERRIBLE, but it wouldn't be terrible at all. CHOICE GAMES. Moral games. He'd be similar to Three, but less focused on maiming or killing people. Games that'd push people to show their true nature or truth games.

I WANT SNOW OPINION ON THE WHOLE KISSING THING BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE. :B I'm sorry Kaworu ruins things forever.

NOT SURE IF WANT

No okay. Snow had so many feelings!!! IT WAS KIND OF RIDICULOUS. First off! Snow on kissing in general is kind of... he just doesn't consider that kind of thing (hormones, romance, etc.) for him? He doesn't actively dislike it and strive to eliminate it from his life and presence the way Ruka does, but it's just... not something he considers for himself! It's partly self-esteem, in that he doesn't really see anyone falling in love with or being attracted to him, but mostly just general disinterest that makes him not think of it as a possibility. But!! In THEORY he's a huge romantic. He has opinions!! On feelings!!! And how they should interact with hormones!!!! And how kissing and especially sex are for people you ~~~~love and cherish~~~~ //// SO YEAH he has very romantic ideals and hormones are tied very, very strongly to feelings for him, not only in theory but also in how he actually experiences attraction. He has very little capacity for attraction outside of people he has feelings for, and this is how he thinks it should be! ("Feelings" does not necessarily mean romantic love, because Snow is SUPER EMOTIONALLY NEEDY, though he would like to think it does.)

SO. ANYWAY. HAVING SAID THAT, Kaworu saying that he would kiss Snow-- and then later amending it to WANTING to kiss him-- was a huge shock to Snow's system! Both because WAIT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF SEEING ME IN A SEXUAL LIGHT WHAT IS THIS and because the line of questioning meant that he had to start considering that MAYBE HE MIGHT BE CAPABLE OF HAVING HORMONES ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE TOO GASP??? So he was pretty off-balance from the very beginning, and only became more so as the conversation went on and Kaworu kept thwarting Snow's attempts to keep from having the consider the matter seriously. Which he didn't want to do because of the above paragraph! Despite being super romantic, the idea of actually having ~feelings~ and ~hormones~ is TERRIFYING to Ruka. HIS HEART IS A DELICATE FLOWER AND HE KNOWS IT. :'( And not only that, but he is again, incredibly needy, and the strong mental tie he's made between feelings and attraction-- and thus the extreme significance he's accidentally projected onto acts of attraction-- basically means that to him those acts kind of work as STRAIGHT SHOTS OF EMOTIONAL VALIDATION. This is a recipe for disaster!!! Especially as applied to Kaworu, who is already very important to him and who he already has very strong feelings for! SO BASICALLY HE WAS JUST TRYING REALLY, REALLY HARD NOT TO BOARD THE BAD DECISION DINO...

...But in the end he was already putting too much thought into it and Kaworu kept pushing the point and he kept having to realize things like yeah okay I would kind of be okay with kissing Liberty... well no yeah okay I would kind of LIKE kissing Liberty... YEAH FINE OKAY I COULD MAYBE SEE MYSELF WANTING TO KISS LIBERTY AT SOME POINT 8( And then Liberty appealed to his dere with cuddles and insisting that he wanted to kiss Snow because of feelings and not because he was just an insatiable kissing fiend. (I'm sorry, this is what Ruka was trying to convince himself of at first.) SO! MUCH LIKE THE LAST ANSWER! He did... like it, and the feelings and intimacy involved... but it was also very emotionally exhausting and he felt really bad about Bones and his own inevitable slip into full-out bad decisions (the "just once" thing would... not have stuck if this were Aather canon, lolol :D;;;)... but he also adores Liberty and well, straight shot of emotional validation 8(((((((

AND THEN I WROTE 600+ WORDS ON A SINGLE THREAD THAT HAPPENED OUTSIDE OF OUR GAME'S ACTUAL CANON, SOB

r-reverse

UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES (Aather canon), Kaworu wouldn't have pushed so much to get a clear idea of Ruka's feelings! The reason he pushed that much was mostly because they were in a different place and that sort of helped to separate things a bit.

Now . . . Kaworu often defines what he wants and what he feels curious about around the people that already feel something for him. No matter what those feelings are. Because Kaworu is somewhat self-centered at times and, obviously, those feelings directed at him are more important and relevant. He's aware that he's very important to Snow and now . . . I don't know how to put it, but in a way, his feelings for Victory are turning less romantic and Snow has been growing a lot in his list. I've been thinking about why, but I think it's mostly because Kaworu sort of gives a lot of priority to Kunzite? But it doesn't change that Victory is important, just that Kaworu might be more dere or more focused on his team.

So he wants to know how deep those feelings are and in a way, Kaworu wants to feel said feelings! It's part of his nature, wanting to learn and poke as much as he can. KAWORU IS SELFISH, but he can sort of try to consider Kanji's feelings or the feelings of his team into account but in the end he'll always do what he wants to do. Another important thing is that he doesn't care about exclusivity, just how that person relates to him and that's it. If there's another person or people he doesn't care, but if the attention he gets suffer then he miiiiiiiiiiiight start to get annoyed by it. BUT IT'S NOT JEALOUSY.

Anyway, this is important because even in Aather, he's starting to feel curious about Snow's feelings and since the topic came up during the fourth wall event it made things easier. The reason he might not do anything about this in Aather beyond poking every now and then it's because of what Snow said. KAWORU IS AWARE OF THOSE COMPLICATIONS but if his feelings grow at some point that might become an issue. A SERIOUS ISSUE. But for now he likes being very important to Snow and in camp he actually enjoyed kissing him and he felt something. He wanted to kiss him again and he still . . . might, depending, but he doesn't want to hurt him either.

In short, Kaworu deeply cares about Snow and IDK what will happen there.

I'M NOT REREADING THIS, TELL ME IF I MADE NO SENSE.

I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU THINK KAWORU IS STILL HELPING RUKA SLEEP. I don't want to assume that Kaworu is still doing that if Ruka isn't letting him. |D

lol sob CAMP IS CLEARLY JUST A BREEDING GROUND FOR BAD DECISIONS, Snow could have stuck to "let's not go there okay..." more easily if they were in Aather at the time too.

Yes! I mean, as long as it's not draining on Kaworu too much? He's actually pretty comfy with that arrangement, provided that it's not putting KAWORU in a state of constant exhaustion. It might not be a strict schedule of EVERY OTHER DAY or anything, since Snow has probably encouraged Kaworu to take breaks or whatever every so often, but yeah! KUNZITE CABIN IS STILL CUDDLE CENTRAL.

questions are hard IF KAWORU COULD HAVE/GET ANY ONE THING WITHOUT HAVING TO QUEST FOR IT what would it be

He'd get all kind of food and the clothes he wears in canon! Kaworu isn't the type to want a lot of things, but perhaps he'd quest for books.

SAME QUESTION.

His katana. :x He might hide it under his bed and never look at it or use it, but he would be glad to have it! JUST. JUST IN CASE. And I don't know if he could bring himself to actively quest for it at this point.

he mentioned being bored in our other thread so what does Kaworu do to keep himself occupied in Aather :oa

OH I FORGOT TO MENTION IT, but Kaworu doesn't push himself too hard about keeping up his A.T. Field for Ruka, mostly because he knows it'd worry everyone is he does that. CUDDLE PARTY.

Aaaaaand. He wanders around in Aather a lot! He's a social butterfly and will always go poke people at what they're doing or finding ways to amuse himself. He enjoys talking about difficult topics and making people uncomfortable for shit and giggles. He plays the piano!!!!! Spends a lot of time bugging Kanji and teammates. He probably touches Ruka a lot whenever he can. Psychopaths are his favorites to bug :3c And young boys that blush easily and tsunderes . . . He sometimes helps with chores and . . . maybe he does his own laundry, but effort :/a He doesn't quest for a lot of things.

What about Ruka?

Ruka... is bored a lot because he ISN'T social butterfly and doesn't really have anything to fill his day with... He works out to some extent every day, running and push-ups and so on and whatever exercises he can do to try and improve his hand-to-hand skills, and then probably... goes back to that even once he's finished if he gets bored later. He might bug Kanji or Rabi to spar with him idk. He likes physical activity! And then on the other hand, he also spends a lot of time in the library, either reading or just plain hanging out/napping with Obsidian there. He used to take lots of naps if the previous night was an off-night for Liberty, and he still does, but less than before since he's starting to get adjusted enough to just work with however much sleep he does manage to get. He helps out with chores a lot, and always takes care of his own things, but he also tends to blow through them quickly and efficiently so it doesn't take too much time... :'( HE WOULD APPRECIATE BEING GIVEN SOMETHING HELPFUL AND TIME-CONSUMING TO DO BASICALLY.

Kaworu has to sort his teammates onto other teams, where does he put them!

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